


come undone

by mayafey



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Death, M/M, Reincarnation, not capitalized im too lazy for that, the result of yet another 4 am angst binge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-10 16:37:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8924386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayafey/pseuds/mayafey
Summary: “i miss him like the moon misses the sun, destined to chase him till the end of time.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> uh.......... i have no real excuse ive just been feelin really shitty lately and somehow ended up with angsty reincarnation au. i blame the sad love songs ive been listening to on repeat.   
> anyways the summary is fake deep because im that kinda guy so im just gonna summarize: they die a lot but things turn out to be okay in the end 
> 
> without further ado heres my seasonal depression in written form

you were a ray of sunshine. your brightly colored hair reflected brilliantly in your big blue eyes as the sun's rays do on the ocean's waves. you would smile, big and toothy, at every person you saw, each returning the favor happily. they’d all stop in the streets to tell you mundane stories from their day, to which you would reply with unending enthusiasm. we were all consumed by the sunlight that radiated from your very existence.

i was cold, bland, always worthless. the others never once changed their opinions of me, despising me in secret and wearing masks of deceit. they all lived in fear, doubting my promise to fight for the village and not against it. despite it all, i bore their hatred because just the slightest glimpse of your smile was enough to sweeten even the sourest of moods. you were my sun, the one to push away the darkness and bring light to each day. after you left, my whole world collapsed. consumed by darkness, i spent countless hours in a bath of hot water, sitting motionless as my skin would prune. i would decline missions i would normally be happy to take. i stopped leaving the house. i hardly talked to anyone other than sakura, and that was only because she insisted to check on me, and fighting her on it was out of the question. i felt stripped of my core being, realizing i only lived for you.

surely you would come back. except you didn't.

i got the call at 4 am on a thursday morning months later from the hokage herself. they could hardly even recognize you. the body had been so charred and so... broken. an eye was gouged out, an arm twisted and a bone peering out from the skin, and a chest that looked as though it’d caved in. but i could see past it all. i would never be able to forget that sunshine smile of yours, the one that made all my sorrows feel insignificant and eliminated any worry. i remember sobbing for hours, absolutely inconsolable, pushing away anyone who tried to help because nothing they could come up with would bring you back. i hid from the public for days, months, maybe even years, but it would make no difference because without you nothing mattered anymore. this world had taken away everything that i truly cared for anyway.

_the news reports finding a decomposing body believed to be sasuke uchiha in his two months after news of naruto’s death. the autopsy confirms the cause of death was a prozac overdose. he is believed to have died a few days after learning of his best friend’s departure. with no next of kin, his belongings will be auctioned off to pay for his funeral costs._

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not once was it heroic, nor was it one i deserved but i did it for you, anything for you. i’d suffer through it a million times if it meant i could spend an eternity with you.

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it had been months since the first time i had the nightmare that played itself over and over in my head. the sight of your charred body and the smell of burned flesh was ever prominent in my mind, but how could it be when you were sitting right here with me? you were laughing about something, not that it mattered to me because you were living and breathing and with me right now. you smiled at me again and the room immediately heated up. i noticed little things about you that i hadn’t before. you’d lost all the muscle in your arms that you spent years working for, replaced with paler and drier skin. you often seemed out of breath when you talked, which was out of place for the ever talkative naruto uzumaki. you hadn’t mentioned eating ramen at all today, or in the last few months, despite your love of ichiraku’s. nevertheless i paid it no mind and kept beating you at the game you claimed yourself to be the master of. after a total of 48 losses to sheik against your king dedede you mentioned you were tired. i tried to point out that it’s only 6pm but you shooed me out anyways. you told me you were sorry, that we would meet again. three days passed without a single text. i tried to contact you as it was unlike you to avoid me until i walked past your house and saw your neighbor crying, her boyfriend comforting her, and you on a gurney being loaded into an ambulance. this hadn’t been the right life for either of us.

_naruto had been declared dead at the scene - he had been struggling with an eating disorder and never told anyone to avoid worrying them. sasuke disappeared without a trace, and though missing persons reports were filed not a soul neither cared nor wanted him back._

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i blinked again and all i could see is you hunched over on my sword, spitting blood. the ground was stained red with the fire that dwelled inside you, and you were so… cold. there was no sunlight reflecting in your eyes or a tenderness to your pained smile. you said would be okay, that you didn't blame me, that this happened because of your actions. i just as soon pulled the sword on myself and ended this nightmare before it began.

_the authorities deemed it a lover’s suicide. both had run away from the village and overcome with guilt chose to end it all together. the case was closed and evidence was swept under the rug._

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this time when i blinked, i saw nothing at all. cool metal was pressed against my forehead. i heard the sound of a gunshot, felt the hardness of the ground, the warmth of my blood, and everything went dark. i didn’t know what happened after that. i didn’t even know who did it. but i hoped you were safe. i wouldn’t mind waiting longer to be able to see you again if it meant you were alive and well.

_prisoner #24358, uzumaki naruto, is convicted of first-degree murder and sentenced to death. his last meal is a bowl of miso ramen, and last words a message to his victim._

_“i miss him like the moon misses the sun, destined to chase him till the end of time.”_

\-----------------------------------------------------------

it’s been months. or maybe years. i can’t tell anymore when the same damn things keep happening. you’re with me and sitting by my side covering my neck in kisses and you seem normal when you’re squeezing my hand so tight but i wouldn’t fucking know anymore. you tell me things will be okay but i’m the one with an iv in my hand, oxygen mask in my nose, when you’re staring at me with some sort of sadness in your eyes. it doesn’t fit you at all, and i try to tell you that but you silence me with a kiss. it’s been so long since we last talked, but the kiss is so familiar it feels as though we’ve only been apart mere seconds. it’s warm and tender and it feels like home. the taste of you is one i won’t forget, no matter how many lifetimes i have to live.

_the heart surgery is a failure. shortly after the funeral, a suicide note is scribbled on the back of a hospital bill and only reads “i’ll meet you in the next lifetime.” naruto’s body is found propped up against sasuke’s tombstone with a pistol in its hand and surrounded with empty bottles._

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i can’t count the times i’ve seen you suffer on my fingers anymore. i wish it’d all just end once and for all, with fate finally taking pity on me. i’ve searched for you for decades in this lifetime to no avail. i never should have let you out of my sight back then.

_sasuke is eventually found in the forest cradling something, though he’d been lost to dehydration long ago. naruto’s assumed dead, his missing persons case closing after 30 years._

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i hate to get my hopes up but i think this is the one. you’re sleeping with your head in my lap, wearing my hoodie and gently snoring. this is the longest either of us have been together and as i run my hands through your hair i can feel the fire absent from all the doomed lifetimes. you groggily awaken, and as i sloppily place my lips on yours, i decide i’m content ending this cycle on this perfect a moment.


End file.
